


all you need to do is love me

by soldierwitch



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6453682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldierwitch/pseuds/soldierwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“why do you only come to me when I’m sad?”</p>
<p>she looks at him softly. sadly. an abundant mixture of conflicting emotion. “because that’s when you need me.”</p>
<p>he thinks, <i>i need you always</i>, but presses the thought into a kiss rather than spelling it out with words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all you need to do is love me

**Author's Note:**

> A product of going down memory lane with one of my favorite ships. Title from: [Love on the Brain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZQc5WGjUJU) by Rihanna. I would highly suggest listening to the song while reading.

“why do you only come to me when i’m sad?”

she looks at him softly. sadly. an abundant mixture of conflicting emotion. “because that’s when you need me.”

he thinks, _i need you always_ , but presses the thought into a kiss rather than spelling it out with words. any time he utters a sentiment she’s not ready for she runs. he can live in this inbetween space of now and almost and never because it’s all he has. It may be all he ever gets, so he’ll have her while he can. for the night. for the moment. for fleeting snatches of time that she allows with each sweet kiss and caress.

she sighs in his ear and it sounds like coming home. being with serena feels like having everything he could ever want in the palm of his hand. he doesn’t know why she can’t. won’t. understand that she is it. the beginning. the end. all the lovely heartbreaking wonderful inbetweens.

he wishes he could tell her to trust him. that he’d never hurt her. always love her. heart, body, and soul. she is his story already written. the path he’d like his life to take. and he wants so badly to be hers. for her to let him all the way in.

she gasps and whispers, “nate,” and he tries not to shatter at the way she says his name. he knows that the love he hears is not his imagination. he affects her. the hitch in her breath. the stutter of her words. the shiver running across her spine. those aren’t just the effects of friction and the fire building between them. he’s heard her sharp inhale when he’s caught her off guard with a sudden laugh. has watched her stumble over her sentences when he’s too close and she hasn’t steeled herself to his presence. felt her tremble as he drew a lazy hand down her back. so much skin. so much to touch. he forgot himself, but he hasn’t forgotten the press of her teeth into the pink of her bottom lip and the way she looked at him before retreating. blown away. blown apart. blown to smithereens.

“i…” she shakes her head, and he presses his frown into her shoulder before tracing ‘love’ into her skin.

“you,” she says, and he smiles. broken declarations. swallowed words. she can never quite get how she feels out. she’d once told him, “words mean things. i want to mean what i say.” he’d let her runaway then. too hurt and frustrated to hear the fear in her voice. but he’d heard it the night she’d ran and he ran after her. hand caught in his, she’d struggled through a sentence on not wanting to ruin them. her lips had pressed _i need you too much_ into his cheek before she slipped into a taxi and out of his life. six months passed before he saw her again armed with a new boyfriend and a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

he lets her lay him down. map his body. cling and shudder. moan. and moan. and moan. back arching. hands busy trying to dismantle him and put him back together with nothing but soft touches and her sweet mouth. falling for her has never been the problem. it’s letting her in knowing that she’s got all the exits marked and her bags sitting ready for her to depart when it becomes too much. it always becomes too much. the way she feels.

serena’s not easy, so she thinks she doesn’t deserve simple and uncomplicated. doesn’t believe him when he tries to convince her that she’s worth the world and everything left after that too. “you deserve happiness,” she’d told him. he’d returned the sentiment, but she’d laughed saying, “i’m a rhodes. happiness is never in the cards. want too much. greedy.” he’d kissed her then. they were 11. it was the first kiss he’d ever counted as real. she’d flushed prettily and held his hand for the rest of his visit. nate thinks that’s the first time he’d ever told her that she makes him happy. a decade has passed and that still remains true. serena van der woodsen is happiness personified and she always comes to him when he’s sad. that’s the loudest someone has ever told him that he is loved and wanted. he just wishes she’d let him be her happiness, too.

when she whispers, “nate,” again he switches positions with her. asks her gently to keep her eyes open as he tries to show her that he wants to be her safety the same as she’s his. her hands find his ass and his shoulders and the small of his back as her legs circle his hips. he feels consumed by her. she’s making the most beautiful sounds. pleas and whimpers that he wants forever etched into his memory.

he can’t help the “always” that passes his lips. she’s just so gorgeous. hair splayed across his pillow. pink all over. fighting to keep her eyes on him as they give and take from one another. serena’s perfect. he’d give anything. everything. he’d give it all. he cracks. doesn’t mean to but the tear falls down his cheek without his permission and he knows his eyes are pleading with her to let him all the way into her heart. they’ve been doing this for years. he’s tired of living without her. this inbetween space hurts and he was lying to himself earlier. it’s not enough.

nate wants to love serena loud. their quiet affection and pining has been tearing him to shreds since they were 15 and she was so golden and bright stealing all the light at someone else’s wedding. before then too. he’s loved her for so long and so deep he can’t remember when it began. “please.”

she’s crying now. pulls his head down to hers. “it always comes back to you.” she kisses him with her eyes open. “always.”

their hands entwine. he feels her begin to climb toward her release. body tight. voice soaring. his name running off her tongue over and over. he’s pulled into the flames. her name on his lips. cliched as it is he sees fireworks. feels hot like summer. the rush of being with the sun.

they fall asleep.

she is there in the morning. he counts it as a blessing and kisses her hello. hopes that this time he won’t have to kiss her goodbye as well.

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
